Divorce is my New Year Resolution!!!

A New Year resolution is a commitment, a promise that an individual makes to himself/ herself. Most of it has to do with either doing something or resist doing something! It could be personal goals, changing habits or professional projects, which are deemed to be profitable for us in the New Year!

My father, always warned me, in his own self-righteous manner he would say, “What Resolutions, Me and resolutions are Odious. Beside even to think about resolutions/ change, will make me believe that I am Not Perfect!”

Spiritually, I reasoned that if we are all perfect (God’s Creation), why change! Though, all religions have this period of fasting, introspection, reflection when one is supposedly seek forgiveness, change for the better, abstain from something etc., the idea that is propagated is of Self-Improvement, so that we are “more” near to the lord!  

Why is it that self-improvement is only done annually? Why can’t we be permitted to reflect everyday! Continuous Improvement, Quality Circles  (Japanese be blessed for this) and other sprituo-management stuff clouded, my mind. Oh, maybe it’s the Radical Change, one attempts to brings, and since the family and friends are together on the new year bash, it easier to warn them of the new YOU.

Satisfied by my musing, I like this concept of RADICAL YEARLY OVERHAULING, provided the practise of the to-do” list goes beyond the first week of the year, otherwise this self-gratifying exercise will become a paper-trail of self-deception year after year...

So, I asked my mind, “ Excuse me, but why make resolutions, when you don’t have the resolve to make them true!”, as he “instructed” me just like my wife (but this one is 24/7) to gear up for the new year!

“Why this list of dos and don’t, deadlines and a dhobi-list of self correcting adjectives (more of this, less of that, try to be more…), why can’t I be more, full of the conscience that will lead me to the best that’s there for me in every way. Just let me BE. And I shall BECOME”!! “What”, asked the mind. “Oh Shut up!” I retorted, but unamused, mind kept that cryptic look to elicit an answer from me. “Ah Whatever”, he knows”, I said. “Who”, he asked again. Tired of this pestering, I said, “Ok, this year, I resolve to DIVORCE YOU!” Feeling accomplished and smart, I defended by decision, “Why do you have to Control Everything?, I am done with you. It’s final I want a Divorce!” As, I cut from his gaze, I could catch his mischievous smirk, as if saying, “…wish you could…”

Nevertheless, MY resolve is irrevocable. I resolve to DIVORCE my MIND and never will I talk to this ex of mine. Or even better, take it some place far-far-away and leave while he’s asleep. Henceforth, I shall be using HEART!

What are your Resolutions…peace, love, slimmer you, more time with family, quit smoking, …whatever they are, they are all from YOUR MIND…just get rid of the Bugger…or maybe this too is an UNREALISTIC Resolution...Let me know…

To Love OR To Be Loved Is the Question?

Here is an tempted to interrogate the motivations for the institution called MARRIAGE.

Should you marry someone “You Love” OR marry the one, “Who Loves You”?

Traditionally, our society placed a premium on the family ties, kings married brides for political reasons. Property, dowry, security, economic reasons (child marriages) have all clouded the real reason of marriage. Today, the bond of marriage has taken a beating, even in India, where the divorce rates are all time high.

Nowadays, marriages in India are pre-dominantly love-marriages (or with parental consent) or semi-love marriages (parental consent for prolonged engagement in an arranged marriage), still, the longevity of the relationships is on the decline. Why? Love is a great cement for relationships. Why are the relations breaking? Is there a case in marriages, where one spouse loves, more than the other? Probably. Can one spouse be in love with more than one person at the same time? Could be. Does “Love” decay over time? Maybe. Whatever, the reason, when love fails, the participants, wonder why they went into it, in the first place!

Psychologically, “marry Someone You Love” is a clear favourite with men, artists and teenagers, as they reason, that love makes their creative juices flowing. While, “marrying someone who loves you”, is a winner with women & narcissistic men, who fear the effects of aging on their appeals.

Spiritually? Inspired by the divine love of RadhaKrishn & ShivShakti, I present the following:

This world is an inter-play of masculine and feminine energies. The masculine aspect (Shiv/ Krishn) remains unmanifested (hidden) till the feminine energy reveals it. The masculine aspect has the power to “BE”, but only with the power of feminine energy it can “Become”. In other words, Love will not be manifest Love if both masculine and feminine energies are not present.

Now, let’s look at “Marry Someone Who Loves You”, well here the energy is with the other person. You are like Shiv (masculine) energy waiting for life (shakti) to happen to you. It’s is like a seed waiting for germination. It all depends on the energy of the other person to make you Happen! Therefore, in a relationship you’re predominantly Reacting. .

While, “Marry Someone You Love”, you are in control to drive the relationship. Here you BECOME the LOVE YOU Want …the dynamic forces of shiv-shakti (radha-krishn) are present to make you Happen! You become the force that created the world! The Proactive Dynamism of this (unconditional) LOVE is a self-sustaining dynamo to power the relationship through the ups and downs of our respective debts of karma (read bad times).

Unconditional Pure Love like that of Radha, Meera Bai, Parvati, (yes, also of the remembered couples in history like laila-majnu, shirin-farhad…etc), “Becomes” a life giving force to your soul, simply as breathing. This “Becoming”, is “Being Love” yourself, as it the resolution of our individual duality (feminine and masculine) energies in You. Of course, it is a blissful experience as the energy (Shakti/ Radha) and consciousness (Shiv/ Krishn) are unite as one.

Once that feeling come, and I sure it comes to all of us at some point in time or other, we dilute it by tinkering LOVE to fits our personality, status, style, interests, caste, creed etc. These are operating from the perceptions, rational or ego-led brain and it starts diluting the happiness that we discovered in the first place i.e being with the person we Love.

Bible very beautifully describes Love, Love is patient, Love is kind. It does boast, nor is it envious. It is not self-seeking nor is rude or gets easily angered. It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs, nor it seeks delight in evil, rather it rejoices in truth. It is ever protecting, always trusting, provides imperishable hope and never fails to preserve.

There is a distinction between Love (and all other related concepts), which decrease with the possession of the object, while  Loving Someone is Divine as Naradji says (Narad Bhakti Sutra), it is ever new, ever increasing in its mysteries and beauty. Why?, since the source is the divine oneness in YOU.

I made my case – “LOVE SOMEONE”, and never mind Loving More as it is a self-correcting mechanism. Just be aware of the ever-increasing bliss every moment with that someone special is LOVE, rest is something else! You’ll know!!  

AND when both the spouse have married whom “They LOVE”, they would be giving and receiving at the same time!

So, people in the Game of Life, which one would you prefer? To Love OR Be Loved? Which is better for Happiness in your Lives?

Rules of the Game - IDENTITY

In the Beginning, there was God and God Only. Pure Consciousness, as it created the Game called life, created the players, their interactions with the material world and with each other. Some rules or principles make into existence for these interactions:

The Rules of Game Called Life 1 - IDENTITY

All players “take on” or commit to a new identity in every play (birth/ Janam). This new identity is pre-coded by God (default); designed/ intended to better us at this game of Life. These identities have certain default handicaps that we are born with like caste, financial status, talents, looks etc . We all are born with these and these are the things we live with, in our attempt to reach the God-head in each play.

Think of the game of life as the game of Hide and Seek, where the God-head is hidden and all the players are attempting to seek Him. As soon as we find him – the games gets over, till then we grope in the dark & that’s the Game. Also imagine, that this game is played in night! The God-head (Consciousness) is all around us but the darkness (Maya) is pulled over our eyes, which stops us from finding the God-head!

The crux lies in utilizing these handicaps or living despite them in order to find the God-head. With each successive birth, we experience both darkness (Maya) and the light (God-head), but unfortunately, there are very few people (Gurus) who could advise you in finding the God-head. Though there are many paths (Religions) laid already by the people, who have reached the God-head earlier, but one has to experience the light himself. The difference is like knowing the path and walking the path!

The magic of darkness (Ignorance/ Maya) is so great that it keeps us on the path forever and erects barriers in reaching the goal. Nevertheless, there is one thing to the advantage of all the players – their Intention. The desire to be in Light manifests itself as a beacon to lead them to the God-head. And so our desires have to be honed on the Intention to reach/ find the God-head with each successive birth. With each birth whatever we learnt, desired, intended are all programmed in our Construct for the next life. Thus, our IDENTITY with all its default is the accumulation of our attempts/ past performances in finding the God-head. Successively, with each birth we better ourselves at this Game and inch towards the coveted goal – The God-head (Nirvana)!

Often, we grumble as we find various problems (due to our past samskaras), due to this IDENTITY in traversing our lives. To win, Good Players strategize their lives over many births (till they reach the God-head). How?? Through their INTENTIONS, which get carried over many births through our Karmas and Subconscious Minds. Life is like any strategy game – the future choices are dictated by the choices in the past and present.

To win - there has to be a comprehensive understanding of one’s handicaps and the strong intention to find/ reach the ultimate goal – the God-head.

Hence, the idea is to Play Right (with whatever we have) – as we playwright our future Games.

Coming up - more on Playing the Game, till then – Play Right!!